hurt fingers and happiness

It’s been awhile since I have written – life is a little crazy!  The pregnancy is tiring me out a little bit, and the three kids out of the womb are all involved in activities.  We (mostly) love the chaos, but holy moly life is different!  Overall, things are going really well.  We have ups and downs and twists and turns, but big-picture…we are doing just fine.

On our way out the door for wrestling tonight, J slammed his finger in the door.  I heard his sister ask him if he was okay…and he quickly responded “NO! NO! I’M NOT OK! MOMMMM! I NEED YOU, I NEED YOU!”   He ran into my arms with a bleeding finger.  I know that this seems like a very “normal” moment for most people…kid gets hurt, kid whines, kid gets Mom or Dad to feel better.  That’s not the “norm” for kids with early trauma histories and disrupted attachment, though.  Adults do not equal comfort.  Even after almost two years, this is highly unusual for both J and A to the point that I was almost crying while I held him.  Such little things you take for granted for kids with good attachment!!   Jax seeks comfort from us approximately 52 times a day.  It feels like part of my job description with him vs. something worth crying tears of joy over.

Excuse the disorganization of this post…but thus is my life right now.  How long can I blame pregnancy brain?!   A few other miscellaneous  cute J stories… at a wrestling tournament recently, he exclaimed (completely) out of the blue – “I’m so glad we found a family!”   And after answering one of his characteristically random questions, he told me – “Man!  You sure learn a lot when you have a Mom and Dad! How am I gonna remember all this stuff!?”    Thankful for his vulnerability and openness to refill our tanks when they are low!

Shown below is a picture of the book he wrote about adoption, that is currently in the student library section at his school.  I love that he loves adoption…I know that is not a feeling shared by all adopted children.