I have been bracing myself for the first time one of the kids uses the term “real parents.” It happened tonight, but ironically it was in reference to us(!!!) I was assuming she was talking about her biological family, so asked “your birth parents?” Her response was, “No silly! You are our real parents, because you’re not going to leave like everyone else.” I know she doesn’t fully believe this yet, but words can’t even express how it felt to hear it.
We had a really fun weekend! My parents watched Jax for a few hours on Saturday so we could take J and A shopping without having to chase a maniac toddler. We have been struggling to get their sizes down by guessing, and wanted them to try a few things on. They also didn’t have any shoes besides flip flops, so we went out to by them some tennis shoes. Never in my life have I seen a kid so happy, much less about a pair of shoes, as I have “J!” He ran into the shoe store and picked out his shoes in approximately 2 seconds. He put them on and wore them out of the store! He was running into people as we walked through the mall because he couldn’t stop staring at them….cutest thing ever. He showed anyone and everyone he could find how cool his shoes were, and even said “I’m so cool with these shoes I could go to a DANCE!” Later that day we went on a walk, and he kept asking to go home so he could clean his shoes. He didn’t want the bottoms dirty. That night, he slept with his shoes on his nightstand next to his bed. It was equally cute and heart-breaking!
We all got a phone visit with “T” tonight. Talking to a 14 yr old boy on the phone = awkward!! It was good to hear his voice, and the kids were so excited to talk with him. They are really missing him, and tell us daily how much they want him to live here. When “A” was done visiting she asked him if she should give the phone back to “Ann.” When “T” asked her to repeat herself, she said – “Ann! Our Mom!?”
It’s not all roses and sunshine, but I am loving being their Mom! We were just talking last night about all of the things that came into play in them being placed with us. Firstly, we heard about them the exact same time we found out we were not selected for the sibling set we thought were our sons. Coincidental timing? I may or may not have shared this with you, but we initially said “no” to them after getting disclosure. On paper, it sounded too overwhelming and their needs sounded too high. The thing is…when children are put onto a piece of paper the human piece of them is left out. They are nothing but a bunch of labels and diagnoses and behaviors on paper. In reality, they are beautiful souls and need a family and a chance. We are blessed to have a bunch of social workers involved that are passionate about what they do and the families and kids they match. They believed this was a good match when we didn’t, and asked us to trust them/meet the kids. This whole process is like one giant miracle.